A cake never turns out too good when you’re just ‘winging’ it and throwing in a pinch of this and a tad of that, you need a good recipe in order to produce a moist, delicious cake that everyone will love! Same thing with dating and relationships, you can’t expect to have success without some good ole’ guidelines to help you navigate all of these feelings and conflicts that may eventually arise.

1. Engage in Healthy Responses to Conflict:

• Fight fair:  consider what you really want to express while being respectful to your partner.  Practice listening more and try to understand, then be understood. Use “I” statements, like “I feel _______” rather than “you always  __________”.
• Negotiate and compromise. Avoid being defensive or shutting down.

2. Take it Slow:

• An old proverb says, “Get to know someone in all 4 seasons”… so true!
• You need time to really get to know someone and to bond with them.  Protect yourself from sharing too much too soon and getting attached too quickly.

3. Set Clear Boundaries:

• Talk about what your physical/sexual limits will be, before you find yourself in the heat of the moment, in order to protect your future, health, and heart.
• Talking is the basis of any good relationship.  Tell your partner what you want and find out what he/she thinks.  Passivity may be interpreted as permission.

4. Seek Similarities:

• Healthy relationships have a strong foundation of similarities in goals, dreams, values, backgrounds and interests.
• Character is who you are when no one is looking.  Look for patterns of behavior. Adversity reveals someone’s true character.  Don’t get locked into a relationship by sharing a cell phone plan, moving in together, adopting a dog, etc… that makes it much harder to break up if things aren’t going well.                  

      Remember to set high expectations for yourself and others you choose to be with!