With school starting in just a few short weeks, I was starting to think about the friends that we have.  Friendships are so important at every age, and everyone has a desire to be loved and wanted by others. Sometimes it can seem like the only thing that matters. We might even be tempted to think that the more friends, the better and the happier you’ll be! We can easily get caught up in just trying to seek approval from others as well as comparing ourselves to them. So it’s really important to do a self-assessment and figure out if our friends share a lot of the same values and goals as us, or if it’s only the superficial things that really matter to us right now. Are you just trying to fit in at any cost?  How would you describe some of your best friends? What do you like about them (are they funny, have similar interests, loyal, fun, can talk about anything, etc…)?  Are you trying so hard to fit in and be just like them that you’re scooping to their level and doing exactly everything that they do, even if you felt like it wasn’t right? It doesn’t matter if you go to Public school or Private school, you can still find all of the different cliques there; the athletes, popular kids, partiers, ‘smart’ kids, mean girls, hipsters, gamers and trouble makers, to name a few! Your friends truly do matter!  So you want to pick wisely because they will definitely influence a lot of your future decisions, for better or worse.

Even now, as an adult, I sometimes struggle with the feelings of just wanting to fit in with my friends or can catch myself making comparisons. And you might feel like that sometimes too, but our individual uniqueness is very important. It’s what makes us who we are and you are just how you’re supposed to be! We should think along the lines of how can I be contributing to our schools, communities, or in relationships based on the talents that I have?  What’s something that I really excel at and do best… whether it’s a specific part-time job like babysitting (because you’re really good with little kids or the only person who can get a baby to stop crying), or a role in the play, a sport that you excel at or you’re a dancer (and can teach others just starting out).  Figure out what it is that you can contribute to others around you.  It’s also important to keep healthy relationships around you so that you’re able to grow and learn about yourself and the other person. Sometimes our uniqueness or our values don’t match up with another persons and so trying to make that friendship or relationship work may not be the best option…. So just be you!! Be unapologetically YOUnique!

Lauren C.